Saturday, December 17, 2011
Humanity Discovered
I just realized about 5 minutes ago, how I fucked up on my feminist journey. Its not that I was wrong, or even out of line. I just completely lost my humanity. I wouldn't allow myself to be vulnerable, to care about people who don't agree with me. I lived in a black and white mentality, which wasn't necessarily the problem either. Just because someone is wrong in my eyes doesn't make them evil. I don't have to be best friends with them or even discuss the things that we don't agree on. But the fact that I was metaphorically spitting on every pro-life, hunter, man's face wasn't productive. I still have problems with people telling me what to do with my body. I don't like people talking about the animals they murdered. And I am still uneasy with a lot of men. But that will take time and I have the right to not like those things as long as I respect the people for being people. I, however, have problem with the Women's Center that will not be remedied that easily, I have been typecast by them and they have a history of not listening to me.
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I'm not saying this as a personal attack, but since I've been subscribed to this blog (this year), I've often found myself wondering if this blog is really written by a non-feminist man a la Gay Girl in Damascus. I don't understand why if you're a "riot grrrl feminist", you're now so apologetic about it, and why that has had to mean having such a problem with men. Sometimes I wonder if this blog is written by a man, looking to give anti-feminist ammunition to fire back at feminists with. Riot grrrl falls into 3rd wave, which I understand is full of possibly/seemingly contradictory situations, but not man hating, or bitterness as a rule. In your last few posts, it sounds like your feminism by default has informed your loss of humanity. What gives? I'm genuinely curious.
ReplyDeleteI've been called some nasty things in my feminist time, but to be accused of being a man is real low. Its almost as bad as the man who called me a "cunt" and "ma'am" in the same attack. I identified as a radical man-hating bisexual for many years. I have been raped and abused by men I thought I could trust/thought cared about me. And for a while, I hadn't met any men worth changing my opinion; until recently, when I fell into theatre and started working with a group of guys I trust more than anything else. These guys would NEVER hurt a woman. As for the riot grrrl feminism, its only part of my feminist identity and I picked up more of the fashion and activist technique from that, not their ideals. Personally I can't stand most of the 3rd wave movement. I've backed off from feminism for about 6 months. But when I was hardcore and still very bitter at men, I had no humanity, no compassion. I was every feminist stereotype and I really hated when in Women's Studies classes they would go over "myths of feminism" because for me they weren't myths. That was who I was. Over the summer, things changed. But because I cannot identify with the current movements I basically had to abandon feminism. I was no longer radical or riot grrrl. And I certainly was not going to start in on what I define as the "feminist crack" of the 3rd wave. I hope this answers your questions.
ReplyDelete"As for the riot grrrl feminism, its only part of my feminist identity and I picked up more of the fashion and activist technique from that, not their ideals."
ReplyDeleteI understand this. Personally, when I hear that someone identifies as a riot grrl, I (as I think a lot of people do) equate that with politics & feminism by default. Unless otherwise stated, I don't consider the activism a separate part of it but now that you've clarified that, I get it.
"I was every feminist stereotype and I really hated when in Women's Studies classes they would go over "myths of feminism" because for me they weren't myths. That was who I was."
I understand this, as well. This was my concern in reading some of your stuff. That since you were so stereotypical, that maybe you had been made up by someone. If that's genuinely who you were, understandable. I just didn't know one way or the other.
I was not trying to hurl insults your way. I understand you have had horrid experiences with men. Irrespective of my own experiences, I never hurl being a man at someone as an insult, so that's definitely not what I was doing to you.
My apologies that it came off that way. Thanks for the response. It did answer my questions. Seeing as you still identify as feminist, and haven't abandoned the cause entirely, I'm curious as to what you consider the "'feminist crack' of the 3rd wave", though (as opposed to if you were a misogynist saying it, I wouldn't care lol).