Fighting with Femininity

So there is femininity, masculinity and androgyny. And that's pretty much it. You can blend them together, they are not set in stone; but its really hard to be both feminine and masculine at the same time. One will take from the other. For the past year and a half I had embraced femininity as a power source, something that could make a statement and show strength, but I am finding that I dont even take myself seriously when I am feminine. But yet I also feel awkward masculine. Either way people stare at me in public and thats hard for me. I actually hate the attention, which is why its funny that I own so many tutus and all that glitter. I love them, yes. But I actually dont love wearing them, I feel embarrassed by them and wish I could crawl in a hole. For most people this would come as a shock. Many people think I like to wear crazy clothing, but really I only like to do it when I either not alone, or when I am doing something else that makes me feel uncomfortable like tabling or leading an activist thing. I need to distract people away from me.  I do this in drag as well, I wear crazy looking outfits so that people look at my clothes and not my lack of dancing ability.
My issue with being more masculine is that I've learned feminine mannerisms and ways of speaking and acting so well that it will be hard to not imploy them. I dont want to be dressing like a guy and acting like a cheerleader. I curse my first roommate, Kelli for teaching me how to walk and act like a girl! And then I get crap on both sides for how I act and dress. If I go too femme, Ange tells me I'm acting weak. If I go too butch(or butch at all) everyone at school looks at me funny and asks why I'm dressed like that. I can't win!! I dont know what's right for me, thats something I need to experiment with to find out. I worry now that I cut my hair into a boyish skater cut(it was supposed to be a longer fauxhawk) that I am going to get a lot of crap for it.
I feel like there is nothing I can do to please people and they are going to assume a lot of things about me, no matter what I decide. As a feminist I believe in validating people's choices, I just wish people took that concept into every facet of people's lives. I am PRO-CHOICE. A person's sexuality is their choice, gender presentation/clothing styles, who they date, what they believe, what they do with their body. As long as you are not harming another person(directly) do whatever you want. Its none of my business.