Feministy Lady

Humanity Discovered

2011-12-17T16:51:00.000-08:00

I just realized about 5 minutes ago, how I fucked up on my feminist journey. Its not that I was wrong, or even out of line. I just completely lost my humanity. I wouldn't allow myself to be vulnerable, to care about people who don't agree with me. I lived in a black and white mentality, which wasn't necessarily the problem either. Just because someone is wrong in my eyes doesn't make them evil. I don't have to be best friends with them or even discuss the things that we don't agree on. But the fact that I was metaphorically spitting on every pro-life, hunter, man's face wasn't productive. I still have problems with people telling me what to do with my body. I don't like people talking about the animals they murdered. And I am still uneasy with a lot of men. But that will take time and I have the right to not like those things as long as I respect the people for being people. I, however, have problem with the Women's Center that will not be remedied that easily, I have been typecast by them and they have a history of not listening to me.

Walking Alone

2011-10-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

I walk alone at night. I do. There is very little anyone can say or do to change this. I have had many people try to convince me otherwise or order me to change my methods. But I like walking, I feel lazy taking the bus, and I shouldn't have to avoid walking. I understand that as a woman I am taking unnecessary risks, which could endanger my life. The more people tell me I can't do something, the more likely I am to do it. I am told constantly by the people I live with to take the bus, or if I want to go for a walk, I need to have someone with me. I have also been commanded to take pepper spray, when I carry a knife and wrench regularly and it is proven that pepper spray is more dangerous.
I have on two distinct occasions I have had someone walk me home or to my car, but (though he feels I shouldn't walk alone) does not tell me I have to or make me feel unsafe. If I ask him, he would walk me but he does not impose. This is what I like and what makes me okay with it.

I guess my issue is why I need to be walked home? What about me needs to be sheltered and protected?

The other night, my friend Breann and I were going to a party. It was dark and she wasn't comfortable walking home and to the party alone. So she asked me, knowing I walk armed and my tough demeaner. I was her first choice. She could have asked a guy. So why is it that there are some people who believe I am truly competent and others who feel that I am not?

Feminist Retirement: Hanging up the Tutus

2011-08-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

Okay maybe not that dramatic, but I am thinking of giving up feministy things for a while. Its too stressful and makes me too bitter. I have handed over the internship and I finished my Women's Studies already. I feel that I am a much nicer and more fulfilled person without it. I can talk to men without them waiting for me to hurt them in some way or me thinking they are going to hurt me. I feel that I am more pleasant and frankly, I am a lot more chill. I dont care what people really say as long as its not a rape joke(that's something I react to, not think about). Otherwise I dont care, words are words. I will still be a feminist encyclopedia and the go-to girl when one of my grrrls needs something, but I'm too tired to fight. Its exhausting and it doesn't help me deal with my issues the way I originally thought it would. I used to think that I was stronger because of feminism, but I think now I was always strong and if anything feminism was something I hid behind, that held me back.

I was a radical feminist, some days postmodern queer theorist, but I think now I am more of a practical feminist. I believe that is what I was in high school. I'll fight the fight when I have to, but I dont need to go looking for a fight. I'm growing up, I'm not that bratty teenager anymore. Yes, I am aware of what is going on in the world. And I will never forget the things that happened in my life that made me a feminist, but I need more in my life than anger. As long as I am a feminist fighting for what is 'right' (which is a subjective concept that many times I do not actually agree with), I will always be angry and bitter and I will never move on and heal my own wounds. Because honestly, I have learned that your wounds dont heal by stabbing another. I have learned compassion and I have realized how much harm I have done to myself and to others, in the name of feminism(and don't try to tell me that anything I did wasn't feminist, I dont believe in feminist crack)

Accepting being Wrong

2011-08-07T00:54:00.000-07:00

I have always prided myself on being firm in my opinions and having an opinion about everything. But lately I have been put up to question opinions I have declared. There are few things where I am actually torn on how I believe, most things I am very set in my ways. I am having trouble dealing with two right answers or being able to be two opposing forces at once. I just want to help and really I want to help women, because that is what I do. She is making me realize this more and more. And frankly she has been making me realize how wrong I have been and how big my blinders were. Because as she put it, would I hate her and judge her for doing the same kind of thing? Probably not. And what if I was to do the same sort of thing one day? So why would I have one set of rules for her or myself and another for everyone else?

In Honor of a Few Good Men(and Women)!

2011-07-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

I grew up being taught American Pride, respect and loyalty, not only by my parents but also by my teachers. My dad was in the Navy, and as much as I hated him being gone, it was a fact of life, almost everyone had a parent or sibling in the military. If anyone said anything trying to attack the military, we were on them, that didn't fly down there. We may not have liked the system or even some of the local squids but it was never about their military status. I guess what I am trying to say is that I can't understand living in a place where its alright to bash the military and hating America is perfectly fine. When I say something against the military bashers or anti-patriotism, I am either made to feel like something is wrong with me or people get mad at me. I dont get it. (people are also not fond of me saying: if you dont like it here...leave)
Yeah there are a lot of problems in this country especially with the government, but you know what? It can be changed, ya know if people truly gave a damn enough to do so. I bitch about the justice system, because thats where my major issues are, and who knows maybe one day I'll end up in law school so I can fix it, but I'm not about to run to Canada expecting it to be better there. I have personally thought about joining the Navy more than once these past 2 years but I dont know if I can do that to my dad, I know he never would want his daughter there, and I have to respect that. But just because the military is not the place I can be right now doesn't mean that I would ever not fully support the people in it.
A lot of this came to me today because at work today Jen and I met this man who was a vet living at the VA in St Cloud, who came in for a shampoo and cut. He was a very nice man who was regailing his war stories to Jen as she cut his hair and then was telling us about how he saved a couple men's lives and then the part that touched me the most was when he told us how he stopped two women from getting raped. I almost started crying right there. You dont see that too much around here. Men don't seem to stand up against other men to help a woman that they dont even know. Thats a kind of honor and respect I miss from back home. I have only met one civilian who would do that, every other man I know that would do something like that is military. And in honor of the 4th and that man: Thank you to the men and women who put their lives on the line everyday so that I am safe and have the rights that I do have!

Giants Got Heart!

2011-06-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

So I have always had an affection for baseball boys, but these amazing men are truly inspirational. Anytime an athlete actually stands up for something true, it touches my heart. These men, who participate in a world of misogyny and homophobia are actually talking to kids about how the teen years are tough and it'll all be okay. And mostly I find that these are the heroes of LGBT kids' bullies so if they are supporting the kids that are being bullied it might make the bullies think twice.

The Instruments of Sexism

2011-06-01T01:23:00.000-07:00

I am determined to become a riot grrrl and therefore I need to learn how to play an instrument. I picked the guitar. Well my acoustic sucks and I want an electric so I went all over town to pawn shops and music stores looking. The pawn shops were fine, but the music stores I felt very out of place in. All of them had men working in them. The first showed me some guitars, not really telling me much and they were all very overpriced. The second place only had two electrics and he looked at me like I was a freak. The third place where I got my guitar, I talked with both men. The first was probably in his 30's and he showed me some stuff, and was giving me a piece of guitar/music history and basic knowledge. I had planned to get a Fender and then at this place I was told that they tend to be foreign made, which doesn't go over all that well with me. The second man was quite a bit older, I would say 60's and he couldn't understand my not wanting an acoustic. I felt that this was definately a gendered expectation. It wasn't until the woman who also worked there came in for work that someone believed I could play an electric and she never questioned it. She said that I would have no problems and that I was already on the right track. She also went and got a guitar that she said she loved and handed it to me to try. It ended up being the one I bought. It just felt right. Its a bit beat up and its not as pretty as the pink one I really liked, but its a silver sparkle and it plays nice. I love it. It was a good fit. I just felt like the many women who came before me when they wanted to break into a male dominated passion.

Falling for Feminism

2011-05-31T01:18:00.000-07:00

I occasionally lose my affections for feminism, with all the bullshit in the major and people trying to parade humanism around as feminism, I sometimes lose my passion. I hate censoring my opinions but I often feel that they may be too strong and people are turned off by how adament I am about them. But in the last month two things happened to me. I met someone who is possible more opinionated than me and I started really delving into the riot grrrl movement. I have had a passion for Kathleen Hanna from Bikini Kill/Le Tigre for a while, but she is really influencing me now. I feel like she is the closest established feminist to what would be my feminist theory. She's rather radical but she is also practical and emphasizes grrrl power over general "equality." She is my hero. Between Kathleen Hanna and this other person in my life, I am utterly motivated to do something with myself. I am planning on getting an electric guitar(maybe trading in my acoustic) and learning how to play. I started writing lyrics already, I want to perform. I want to allow myself to fall in love with feminism again!

Dabbling in Veganism

2011-05-17T17:30:00.000-07:00

So for the past 7 days I have dabbled in veganism the best I can. I wanted to see what it was like and be better able to understand those people who choose to be vegan. I had been vegetarian be.fore but I never thought I could give up dairy. Giving up meat is not really that much of a problem. I might miss chicken and turkey but its not really all that difficult for me to live without. This whole week I was focused on dairy: does this have milk in it? type of thing. I have experienced symptoms of withdrawl from dairy though. My entire body aches and I've had a headache for almost the whole week. But overall, I feel a lot better. I do, however, get sugar cravings now. I have learned the difficulties of shopping and eating as well as coordinating life while being vegan, sure I have only gone a week but I am considering making this permanent. I like it. I will never give up my leather jacket though, plus its not like I bought it new, it died before I was born.

So I've Been Thinking...

2011-05-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

I have grappled with my sexuality for quite some time now and I am finally coming to a conclusion I should have come to a long time ago and in a way did: I have no definable sexuality. I came out as this in 10th grade jokingly but its true. Nothing fits other than that. I cannot be defined. I'm going to love who I love, or like who I like and I wont always be able to explain it. I'm not straight, but I'm not really gay either. I dont like the label of bisexual because its limiting and has bad stigma. Pansexual is also not a good fit because I dont know if I would be attracted to all genders, since I haven't encountered all of them yet. So I guess I will just have to learn to accept that I cannot be defined. I had a hard time when I liked this one guy after swearing off men for 3.5 years, and yeah I will admit he was much like the other MN guys from my past, not abusive, but still an asshole.
In conclusion, I am not saying I am straight or that I'm not gay. I am saying that I think I am ready to be open to loving a person regardless of their sex or gender.

Insecurities and Abuse

2011-04-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

Thursday in WS capstone, I realized something. People really don't see me as I am. My strong opinions and blunt way of expressing them apparently give off an air of confidence and security. But the funny thing is, I am not secure at all. If it wasn't for my opinions and how much feminist research I do, it would be more obvious, that I am one of the most insecure people ever. I have a rule that I use in my feminist classes and that is the trinity of knowledge: 1.) Know something 2.) Know what you know 3.) Know what you don't know. And with that you can easily sail through any class or argument.
But as for my insecurities, to start with I have terrible body image. I mean you dont have an eating disorder without it. I cant stand going out somedays because I dont feel I look good in anything I own. Occasionally, nights like last night happen where I wore what I planned and I felt amazing, people kept telling me that I looked good and for one night I actually felt beautiful and was not insecure about how I looked(only about how I was dancing). But on the other hand I received flowers the day before from one of my best friends "because it was beautiful people appreciation day" and I still didn't feel pretty at all.
I am also rather insecure when it comes to dating/relationships, but not about the other person cheating or anything else, but about whether I am good enough or why am I not good enough? This is how I end up in bad relationships or unhealthy attractions. Often I end up with someone/or liking someone who initially makes me feel special and then I beat myself up when it doesn't work or I no longer feel special. This goes back to the eating disorder thing. If something goes wrong or even if its just not right/never was gunna be right, I feel that it is my fault and I blame myself, always attacking my looks first and then everything else. I also have a tendency to fall for people who treat me like shit. Dont know why, I just do. But I would have to say my most abusive relationship is with myself.

Sometimes you need to be a B!TCH

2011-03-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

I am going to be a B!TCH. Not that I wasn't already one, but I mean I am seriously done keeping my mouth closed. I am a Women's Studies major because frankly I love womyn and I love being a womyn. But frankly, at this point if it doesn't have to do with womyn, I dont care. I am not concerned with more of the deeper politics. I hate the Matrix of Domination and intersections of oppressions.
But back to me being a bitch, I have completely realized that 1.) I scare people even when I'm not trying, so why fight it. 2.) Nothing ever gets done when you spend all your time compromising. 3.) It is rare for anyone to even try to challege you or attempt to mess with you. I have met a few men that this doesn't apply to, one of which finds pure joy in making me angry, but luckily part of being a bitch is finding pure joy in making someone else look stupid. I have heard on more than one account (this semester) that my role in life is to "cook, clean and look pretty for a man." This originally came up on light crew in theatre, I'm guessing he didn't catch the 'lesbian' card. But then I was told about a comment that was made in one of my classes that I missed about how women should be staying home with the kids and that women should have to follow certain codes of dress and so on... I'm a little sad/angry/annoyed that I missed class. But in retrospect the likelihood he would have said that with me in the room is slim.

Jesus was an Unplanned Pregnancy

2011-03-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

"Representatives supporting MCCL talked of God, Jesus being an unplanned pregnancy and the need to speak out for the voiceless. "

I feel this is slightly more original than their usual material, but still very laugh-worthy and mockable. Frankly this eliminates the "slut" argument because supposedly she was a virgin(which could be scientifically possible, but highly unlikely). First, would abortion have really existed and would she have known or had access to it? She was just lucky that she wasn't stoned to death for getting pregnant out of wedlock. Second, she still birthed and took care of the child, showing that she made a decision to carry on with the pregnancy and "God's wishes." She may have been delusional, but she still made a conscious decison to be the mother of this child. Third, there are other unplanned pregnancies that end in birth, why must everything focus around a guy who may or may not have been divine? And if he hadn't been "good" would they still desperately want to prevent abortions in his name.

Are Blogs the New Zines?

2011-03-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

In the early to mid-90's the riot grrrl movement was writing zines and music about the oppressions of women and criticizing the media. I don't feel that this has actually stopped, but in a way transformed into something else. With the age of technology that we are living in, it is more practical and wide reaching to blog instead of zine. But what is lost by this transition? There is less personal involvement and passion to blogging than when creating a zine. There was more room for expression with zines, at least on an artistic level. Drawings and sometimes writing styles are lost in the world of online blogging. That amazing passion that can be seen in some of the zines is often derogatory and provocative. These women use words that have commonly been used to oppress them to reclaim and throw back at their oppressors. Like how Kathleen Hanna will right 'SLUT' on her arm in marker or lipstick while flaunting kinderwhore styles, these zines will use the word 'CUNT' to invoke power and a voice for women. But what lines are now drawn on the internet. Am I able to be taken seriously when I swear and use 'offensive' language or is that something truly lost now that we do not print our rants, do people even listen to any critical media nowadays? How in your face can you get on the internet?

Fighting with Femininity

2011-03-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

So there is femininity, masculinity and androgyny. And that's pretty much it. You can blend them together, they are not set in stone; but its really hard to be both feminine and masculine at the same time. One will take from the other. For the past year and a half I had embraced femininity as a power source, something that could make a statement and show strength, but I am finding that I dont even take myself seriously when I am feminine. But yet I also feel awkward masculine. Either way people stare at me in public and thats hard for me. I actually hate the attention, which is why its funny that I own so many tutus and all that glitter. I love them, yes. But I actually dont love wearing them, I feel embarrassed by them and wish I could crawl in a hole. For most people this would come as a shock. Many people think I like to wear crazy clothing, but really I only like to do it when I either not alone, or when I am doing something else that makes me feel uncomfortable like tabling or leading an activist thing. I need to distract people away from me. I do this in drag as well, I wear crazy looking outfits so that people look at my clothes and not my lack of dancing ability.
My issue with being more masculine is that I've learned feminine mannerisms and ways of speaking and acting so well that it will be hard to not imploy them. I dont want to be dressing like a guy and acting like a cheerleader. I curse my first roommate, Kelli for teaching me how to walk and act like a girl! And then I get crap on both sides for how I act and dress. If I go too femme, Ange tells me I'm acting weak. If I go too butch(or butch at all) everyone at school looks at me funny and asks why I'm dressed like that. I can't win!! I dont know what's right for me, thats something I need to experiment with to find out. I worry now that I cut my hair into a boyish skater cut(it was supposed to be a longer fauxhawk) that I am going to get a lot of crap for it.
I feel like there is nothing I can do to please people and they are going to assume a lot of things about me, no matter what I decide. As a feminist I believe in validating people's choices, I just wish people took that concept into every facet of people's lives. I am PRO-CHOICE. A person's sexuality is their choice, gender presentation/clothing styles, who they date, what they believe, what they do with their body. As long as you are not harming another person(directly) do whatever you want. Its none of my business.

It's Time to Talk About It...

2011-02-21T21:58:00.000-08:00

This is the theme of the 2011 NEDA (National Eating Disorders Awareness) week. The idea of talking about it is a complex and difficult thing for me. I found it easier to come out in the LGBT community than to tell people about my eating disorder. Mostly because I dont fit into the stereotypes of someone with an eating disorder. I have never been underweight or even close to being underweight and I fluxuate between disorders. I have many characteristics of anorexia such as preoccupation with weight, contstantly weighing myself and being able to calculate calories in my head, but I also have a tendency to binge eat when I am stressed out. I eat emotionally to cope with whatever and then later on I hate myself for it and restrict caloric intake. Sometimes to make it simple I just consider myself a bulimic because of the bingeing and occasional purging. I also have/had a problem with eating in front of people, being that I am obese, I constantly feel that people are going to judge me if I am seen eating. I feel like to be accepted I am supposed to be anorexic and losing weight and to be seen eating means I'm okay with being fat.

This all started to change around the end of January. In January my life started to fall apart; I wasn't graduating on time and I felt extremely alone, like no one in my life cared. But then during the very long decision making process I was going to minor in Mass Comm and make my dad proud...so on and so forth. Then I met this guy, he commented on my "got consent?" shirt and I was smitten. Ok, not quite smitten but intrigued by him. He got me involved with lighting in theatre, which is not really my thing but I got to play with tools, hangout on a catwalk and spend time with him. Seemed like a total win. And then it happened, we went out for dinner one night and I ate in front of him. I admit it felt a little awkward, but the point is I did it. Then a couple days later on my birthday, my friend Sam, aka: the greatest person alive, took me out to lunch for my birthday and I ate without question. I even shared a sundae with her, a huge rich sundae. And though I felt like I might die from all the food, I loved every minute of it. [Plus I beat Sam at Skeeball]

I know that may seem like a long tangent, but my point is I feel I am now in a place in my life where I can move passed my bulimia. It will always be with me but it doesn't have to consume me. I have people in my life who are making this possible because I dont believe in therapy and rehab. The most important thing you can have is an awesome support system. [Addy Rose, Sam, Kayla, Angie and all the other people who also dont have a clue how they may have helped me]

Misogynistic Men on Mondays: Justin Bieber!

2011-02-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone should've known I'd be doing a piece on him after that Rolling Stone article he did. It's sad to see hair that good on a head that stupid.

If by some act of "god" you haven't heard what the 12 er 16 year old popstar said about abortion and rape and sex before marriage:

"I don't think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them," Bieber says. When asked if he believes in abstinence until marriage, Bieber – who is reportedly dating fellow teen star Selena Gomez – seems wary: "I think you should just wait for the person you're...in love with."

So...the Biebs doesn't believe in waiting for marriage, which I can accept. But honestly just page through the Rolling Stone article and "god" comes up a lot. Which makes this viewpoint rather convienent especially since he has a girlfriend.

"I really don't believe in abortion," Bieber says. "It's like killing a baby." How about in cases of rape? "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

I don't know many people who believe in abortion, I may but I'm different. "It's like killing a baby," No, its like extracting a tapeworm. "Baby" is an abstract concept of a post-natal fetus and is not a technical medical term. But hell, he did have a song called "Baby" and it did repeat the word rather frequently, maybe its all he knows. But really the tapeworm is a parasite much like a human embryo or fetus and cannot survive outside of a host.

J Biebs says that rape is really sad.(na duh) But then "everything happens for a reason." WTF! Yes, I am a strong believer of Fate, but for someone to pretty much say that god decided you needed to be raped so that it would further his plan is bullshit! And I agree Bieber hasn't been in that position, he doesn't (as far as we know) have a uterus and vagina which could be raped and impregnanted. He also gives us no clear indication that he would never rape or hurt a woman, for all we know it would be god's plan for something like that to happen.

So yeah, I'm not all that happy with Justin Bieber. His songs are alright, I guess. But he has what the Virginian Pilot called "unpopular opinions." It's not that these are just unpopular, they are uneducated. I don't believe that we should discount a 16 year olds opinions because of their age, but I doubt he really has opinions. It feels more like he is repeating what he has heard and doesn't know how to comprehend the complexities of his answers. He's against abortion and wants to portray being against it, but few Lifers will even say they say pregnancy as a result of rape is "meant to be."

My issue is really he's a guy thinking he has a say on women's bodies. I dont care if the kid was his from the girl the thought he was in love with and subsequently coerced into sex, he has no right to tell her she can't abort it. Plus Bieber has a huge teenage girl following and many of these girls do not have the own opinions either and he has most likely influenced many of them to believe that abortion is wrong and that rape isn't a crime. The day he became an icon, he was given a huge amount of social responsibility and he's not using it the way he should.

When Do You Own Your Own Body?

2011-02-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

I was walking through Walmart yesterday, trying to find cheap sunglasses, when I hear the scream of a small child. Normally this really doesn't bother me but this kid was in serious pain and I feel that its an American injustice on little girls. This kid was hardly past being a fetus! She was tiny and screaming her head off while her mother(I assume) is holding her and the Walmart lady with the ear gun is puncturing her small lobes. The reasons this bothers me moves far past the little girl's pain and into my feminist realm. First, she was just born! She can't speak her wishes or express her desires in any other way than crying. Second, why would a woman work so hard to birth and child and then cause it pain, this doesn't make sense to me. Lastly, this has a connection to the motivation of FGM. Yes this is a less sexual version of a sexualized mutilation, but it is still a female child being mutilated for appearance and later attractiveness. The pierced ears on female infants is a marker of femininity. Pain is femininity? So how does this not fuck up society?

Hunter-Abuser Connection?

2011-02-12T15:57:00.000-08:00

So I am a firm believer that hunters are evil. I may have a friend or two who hunt, but I cannot understand how someone can go out and plan to attack a helpless innocent creature, without its knowledge and not be a little fucked up in the head. First I have heard the 'just animals' arguement and its bullshit. Humans are 'just animals' too or did we forget that because Pope-whats-his-face decided that humans are better than animals. Well many people believe men are better than women, so does that make it right for men to kill women or to beat them as they like because again Pope-whats-his-face said that women are less than men.
Women and animals are often placed into the same brackets of activism and 'sensitivity.' Lies are told like with any other oppressive nature that there is something about them that makes them deserve that type of treatment or that they dont matter in the world as it is.
Now the reason for this rant: the guy messing with my happy man-hating feminist world 'confessed' to being a hunter. This is complicated because he's one of those use everything hunters, but the way he was talking about it and some of the gruesome detail makes me wonder what he could do to be. Would he hurt me or another woman for that matter?

Republicans are Redefining Rape??? WTF!

2011-01-28T13:04:00.000-08:00

The GOP feels they have the right to redefine what is rape and therefore use this limited definition to restrict women's access to abortion services. If a woman cannot prove she was 'forcibly raped' than she is not allowed to access federal dollars for the abortion. Also this could affect the access to Plan B which is required to be offered to women who go in for a rape kit. So if a woman doesn't look like she barely escaped with her own life she is not allowed to access any help to prevent her from being pregnant with her RAPISTS KID. Fuck that shit!
Plus this redefinition would mean that many date rapes, statutory rape and use of date rape drugs or alcohol would not qualify unless there are enough bruises on her. She could have been threatened with a knife or gun, which wouldn't have physical evidence but would still be forcible. The issue being that the burden of proof is even more on the woman.

Pornography = Prostitution

2010-11-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

In the past week, I have been considering the notion that pornography is not the evil and destructing force of feminism and American culture. I will not however be going out and starting a porn collection. But I am currently entertaining the notion that people can watch(certain types of pornography) and not be aiding in the prostitution of women. There is a concept known as feminist porn, but I have my doubts about how feminist it really is. I am also assuming that gay male porn is not problematic because no women would be harmed in it.
Child porn, whether real or computer generated is wrong. I will not compromise this.

My views are though, if pornography is legal, why is prostitution not? Its the same thing. Pornography just captures the prostitution on film and then mass distributes it. I feel that if we are going to criminalize the prostitution industry then the porn industry needs to be taken down too.

Pornography is not regulated as it should be, so the 'actors' are not properly protected from STI's other infections, even in some instances pregnancy (the ultimate STD). Contracts are not always specific to the woman's needs and safety and sometimes will leave room for the director to pressure her into something that she wouldn't necessarily do.

Now lets get into what porn is advocating. Porn advocates heightened sexuality and in many times violence. I am not, however, talking about BDSM, but rape scenarios and non-mutually pleasurable sexual activities. If the man is the only one enjoying himself(and many times that is the case) what is that telling mainstream men and women about the gender dynamics in sex? Well lets put it this way, its not good.

There's No Place Like Home

2010-10-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Wizard of Oz attempted to make me feel all warm and fuzzy about family and going home after being gone. But this is not the case for me. As a feminist and a lesbian going home is not the most pleasant thing in the world. Not to mention my parents being on my ass about my weight. So why should I go home for Thanksgiving? I will be trapped in my parents house, where they think they can control me, criticized over every bite that goes into my mouth and consistantly questioned or glared at.
Recently as well I have gotten a couple facial piercings which I know my parents will not approve of. I feel that I need to not go to avoid the bad experiences but I also really miss seeing my aunts and some of my cousins. I think I'll go if B is going just because we can be the outcasts together, but I dont know if I am ready to take the amount of criticism, that is waiting for me.

Misogynistic Men on Monday: How do you know?

2010-10-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

It can be hard at times to spot these types of men. There are a few things that can let you know but they are not always present.
The Basics:
-Hunter: any man who feels he has the right to kill anything he deems less than him is bound to have at least misogynistic tendancies. He may not try to hit or kill you but his respect for you will not be where it should be.
-Naked Woman Pictures: now there is a difference between having one or two playboys and having your walls plastered with grotesque pictures of surgically altered porn stars. This kind of guy will not appriciate natural beauty.
-MRA- the most basic. If he believes that feminism is evil and that it punishes 'good' men. RUN!!!!!!!!!

The Challenging:
-Football players: football is a sport that often encourages alpha male behavior and violence. Not all men exhibit these symptoms of football but be cautious.
-Lifers: I believe in not getting tangled up with lifers at all because they are likely to not respect your body and your space. So before you ever have sex with a lifer, find out why they think that way and then make the decision based on that. If you are a lifer, why are you reading this?!
-Criminals: You would think this one would be easy, but its not. Crime comes in so many levels. Never go near a sex offender but if they have a record for possession and are clean, there really is no problem. Do your research.

Good Luck:
-Cocky guys: this really depends. A guy(or girl) may be cocky to cover up insecurities, this is not problematic. If the guy is truly arrogant this is where the problem lies. Arrogance shows that he cares only for himself and not for you.

Feminist Crack!

2010-10-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

At SCSU there is one word that acts like crack to feminists and that is "intersectionality." You say that word around the feminists here and they go balistic. Everything they do is about this or relating in some way back to it. I find this thoroughly messed up. Feminism used to be about women, women's issues, being female, that stuff. Now we have to go out of our way to help men and all peoples(even the ones who take our rights away) WTF! Last time I checked each oppressed group had their own movement and none of them were focusing on 'women' as a special interest. Why should we be taking away from our movement to help others when they are not helping us.
I can accept being aware of touchy feminist issues within other minority groups such as ability/fetal health-selected abortions will not go well with the disability activist groups. But along with that shouldn't a woman from a feminist-only perspective have the right to abort her fetus for ANY reason? Feminist crack makes these intelligent women not only go on a sped up rampage but it clouds their feminist minds in a way that does not support a full feminist agenda. And fuck anyone who thinks religion has a place in feminism! I've said it a million times, if you are pro-life(LIFER) you are NOT a feminist! But under the grounds of intersectionality this is acceptable. Men can be feminists apparently. I got and burned that memo.
People look down at the radical feminist movements and I want to know why. Radicals get shit done. Its just a fact; yes, they may seem less caring but they are not supposed to be touchy feelly.

Basic Bigotry

2010-10-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

I was in evironmental sociology class today and we watched a film about Evangelical Environmentalism, which alone is enough to make me laugh. But my tipping point was when he talked about stewardship over the environment and animals while being surrounded by deer heads. I find that this attitude is similar to that of pro-life feminists. We want to help women, or in that case, animals, but we are still taking away their rights. How does this make any sense?
By the way, there are few things that piss me off more than pro-life feminists and really its just men and anti-feminists. But in my book being pro-life makes you ARE an anti-feminist.
More importantly, she defended the hunters when I pointed that out, saying that you can be a conservationist and a hunter? HOW????? Is that like being a pacifist in the military?

Misogynistic Men on Monday: College guys

2010-08-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a picture but alas, I do not. There were a number of different signs and banners on move in weekend. But I feel the cake is taken by "Freshman Fathers Thank You for Your Daughters." I have difficulty describing my feelings here. I will start with a list of my concerns and elaberate from there.

RAPE! SEXUAL ASSAULT! HARASSMENT! okay so it's a lot harder than I thought to move away from this one.
Fathers...so alone fathers are responsible for producing women for these men to rape(see I cant get away from it). If I remember correctly from biology and well being a woman, there is this thing called pregnancy and it can be done without fathers. Many women are single parents by CHOICE!
The fact that this sign stayed up long enough for me to see it shows me that this campus's "commitment" to reducing sexual assault and harassment.
There were women THERE! Other women were aiding to this! I can't handle that.
Alright so I am going to play the HUMANIST card and say that this insults the one guy(who dates women) on campus that I know that would NEVER hurt a woman. It is sad to say that I only know one for sure.(because the other three moved)
And lastly, WOMEN ARE NOT PROPERTY! Men cannot give away or trade women like baseball cards. (Though many treat baseball cards better than women.)

Alrighty, so we have the blatent sexual assault invitation right there for the world to see and women go there. I dont ever mean to be harsh on women but come on! I may not be good a picking men but I can see thats bad. And what ever happened to the fathers and their guns protecting their daughters? I know that sign was up for at least a half hour but I suspect it was there all day. And no "freshman fathers" came to give these men a talking to? Because if you look at it, it is insulting them as well. What father in modern society throws his (hope to be) virgin into the volcano? With the rise of purity pledges I suspect very few. And on the other hand a least a few of those guys have to have had sisters. Would they want someone doing that to their little sister?
As I said this insults the few decent men on our campus. Actually the guy I knew is very involved with the Mentors in Violence Prevention and Students for Sexual Consent. I am sure that he would no be thrilled to see a sign like that representing his own gender.
On to the participating women, I know all through society people who are discriminated against for the same reason can join the dominant side in discrimination to gain power. It happened during slavery, in sex trafficking and internalized homophobia; but that doesn't mean I understand it.
My biggest issue, well next to rape, is the issue of women as property. If these men only seen their female classmates as objects to be gifted to them, how much further until they are running a brothel for sex trafficking? It may seem like a jump but it really isn't that far.

My question is how did they get this way? What did we do to make these men turn out to be what they are?

Fabulous Feministy Females: Taylor Momsen

2010-08-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

I rag on men a lot. I know it and I dont care. But I need to give credit to all the fabulous womyn that also get ragged on by men and prudes, like the amazing Taylor Momsen! She's 17 and she juggles modeling, singing and acting careers all at the same time. But other than her being a workaholic, she is in many ways like the Riot Grrls of the early 90's. Her inspirations include the band Garbage, Joan Jett and Cherie Currie. But more on Riot Grrrl Taylor. She uses fashion as a definate means of expression, bordering on provactive but sexually reclaiming at the same time. She has a dark style with touches of hot pink and glamour. Her music is even darker than her eyeliner, with topics of: drugs, religion, sex and relationships. Her song 'Goin Down' is about the child molestation in the Catholic Church. For a 16-17 year old, to write something like that is impressive.

She has also spoken openly in interview about her style, career choices and sexuality. She states that she wears what she likes and is inspired by music and people. Music is her life and she feels it saves her, and I cant think of a better way to get out anger and teenage angst then announcing it publicly in a song. And in response to sexuality, she takes care of herself. What is more feminist than choosing a vibrator over a man?

When Taylor wants something she goes after it. She doesn't do drugs or party. She may be wild but she's smart, and that's what makes her a Fabulous Feministy Female

Hijacking the Movement

2010-08-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

I have several pet peeves when it comes to feminism. It is my religion and I act like a Christian when someone says "god damn."

1.) Men claiming feminism. Feminism was created for and by women. Men can support the movement by say, doing what women tell them. Too many men seem to think that they can have an input or ideas. Worse, some men even expect feminism to help them--to fight 'men's issues.' If men need reform, they are the ones in power, they can change it themselves.

2.) "Myths of Feminism" All too often I hear that its a myth for feminists to hate men, not shave, be ugly, etc. Well, though not all feminists are these things, many still qualify. I identify as a man-hater and a feminist; I shave when necessary and I dont think I'm pretty.

3.) Humanism parading as Feminism. This new craze is to call movements for LGBT rights, disability rights, multiculturalism, and even 'men's rights'. If you want equal rights for all people call yourself a humanist, NOT A FEMINIST.

Misogynistic Men on Mondays: Glenn Sacks

2010-07-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

In a new segment that I will be starting entitled Misogynistic Men on Mondays, which will cover the issues of Men's Rights Activists(primarily), politicians, and frankly men that piss me off.

Glenn Sacks: executive director of Fathers & Families

This is the man responsible for having "boys are stupid" mechandise pulled from stores. It still can be found on DavidandGoliathtees.com, but more realistically this is a campaign against one of the only attacks on the male sex but women's clothing is offensive most of the time. I recall the "who needs brains when you've got these" shirts, dumb blonde tees, thongs with "cha-ching" on them, but no calling boys stupid is a huge problem. Boys today are not doing as well in school as girls but why do you think that is? Is it because boys are actually stupid? no(though personally I like to pretend that). Boys aren't trying as hard as girls, women have to work twice as hard to get half as far. So girls are putting in more initiative and the standards might be raised in response, but that does not mean that boys can't do it.

I remember there was a guy, his name was Eric, he and I competed for the best grade from 3rd grade until he stopped caring in 7th. He was gaining popularity and was slightly overweight and trying to be the "funny fat kid." He started using drugs and neglecting school work. Deep down I knew that he was naturally smarter than me, but I worked really hard and we always had gotten the same grades, in the same classes. When he gave up, his grades plummetted and he started making fun of me for trying. During high school he slimmed down, got more popular and we started being friends again (well not publically, he didn't want to be seen being nice to me). He was a wiz at math but ended up failing Math Analysis(Pre-Calculus) because he would come to class high, I stopped letting him copy my homework and he was distracted by his slacker friends and girlfriend. He was failing so bad that a perfect score on the final couldn't help him.

The moral of the story is that social pressure to be popular means dumbing yourself down, but only for boys. Women have the social pressure to be on top acedemically and are criticized by their peers for not being smart, boys get the opposite, where the ideal is to slack through life.

Comedians are NOT funny...

2010-07-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

I often hear, mostly by my roommate, that I don't like fun. Well I don't. I'm a feminist and its a fulltime political, religious and personal identity. At my first college Southwest MN State University I went to two different comedians and both left me outraged. I didn't laugh. Being the type of feminist that I am I have often as of late felt ambivalence towards my sexual orientation(bisexual). I don't feel that I should like men, I hate most of them, but attraction's a tricky thing. But thats not the point. This was 4 years ago when I was first coming out. I went to the comedian(I dont know names) because I was required to go to events for orientation week. And he states in his "funny" act that he has no problem with being gay or straight, but he hates bisexuals. He calls them greedy and indecisive and all these horrible things and I am left sitting there unbeknownst to anyone hating myself.

The next semester I go to the relay for life walk and they have a comedian. Now remember I am living in Minnesota but am from Virginia. The comedian starts off saying that he is from Virginia so he can say it...that Virginians are obsessed with the confederacy and accused VA of not being that important in the civil war. Ummm excuse me? We fought the whole goddamn war!

Okay, so that was a long explaination of my hatred of comedians and resistance towards fun and funny. But my point was when I was youtubing much like my last post I stumbled onto Dane Cook, who in a two minute video blurb insulted gays, blacks and did a backhand on a rape joke pretending that he was sympathetic to rape victims when he losely compares their experience to Halo. He talks about how the word rape should be banned just because men use it when talking to their friends about Halo...then Cook pretends that he cares saying that women wouldn't appreciate the comparison of rape to Halo. Well I don't appreciate rape being used in comedy at all no matter how its being used.

Murder Over Words

2010-07-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I occasionally (and well more than I should), stumble across rather offensive things on youtube.com. I expect most of it but not this.

I actually feel dirty posting it on my blog...but since I am about to rip it to shreds, its iight.

It does say spoof in the title so I knew it would be ridiculous, probably just mocking Hillary Duff(not that I don't love her), but just innocent fun, right? Hell no. Not only was there a boy with a wig on that could be a purposefully placed attack on the transgender community but since the creator must be a moron, that would be giving him too much credit. It is an obviously gay stereotyped character who is weak and whiney. So that's bad... Then this trans/gay/woman character is killed by being hit with a bat, therefore insinuating violence against the LGBT community. AHHH!!! I can't take this any more!

To Birth or Not to Birth...why is it your business?

2010-07-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

I personally do not ever wish to be an incubator for a parasite that I would then have to birth, possibly with a perverted male gyno, in a hospital that requires genital mutilation during birth or an unnecessary c-section. But that's just me. I am not about to go around and berate pregnant women about their decision to not abort the fetus. So why is it when it comes to famous people, we have the "right" to criticize and debate their decisions. When it comes to Jillian Michaels, a personal trainer on the Biggest Loser, saying that she wants to adopt because she "can't handle doing that to her body," we are all up in arms against her. It's still her choice but of course since she is in the public eye, society thinks it is appropriate to dictate her body. I am sure that if she were to get pregnant, she would have to come out and say it immediately, or else she would be accused of gaining weight and getting fat.

The interview that made it possible for society to start nagging and bashing her for her choice to abstain from pregnancy was in a Women's Health magazine which has been picked up on Fox News stating that "babies ruin bodies." Jillian has described the hurt feeling of being misquoted in response to the article. But more importantly her choice is becoming a moral indiscretion on her part and an attack on mothers and women who may choose to birth. That's not the case though, her personal behavior is not a statement on her beliefs. If that was the case how can a man, like say, Rush Limbaugh get married four times and have Elton John, a very out gay man, perform at the ceremony? That goes against his beliefs but yet his actions say otherwise. Jillian is not against mothers and since she wants to adopt, she is obviously alright with motherhood as a concept. She also stated in the same interview that she wants to adopt because it's like she is rescuing something. But no, she is too shallow to allow her body to change from its perfection.
What's so wrong with a woman wanting to look a certain way? Nothing. Her job relies on how she looks and even if it didn't it is no one's business but her own. She can have personal body image issues and still be a great motivator. It matters more what she says to other women than what she says to herself.

Commentary on How Sexist Sizeism Affects and IS Affected by Jillian Michaels

2010-07-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

Sizeism: is the discrimination or oppression of any person or group of persons based on size or shape of their bodies. This includes height, weight, body composition and/or proportion.

Jillian Michaels is a well known fitness guru. She is also a woman who is tough as well as believing in other women. She motivates as well as intimidates her contestants. By why? Jillian stands only 5'2 and is often not listened to or believed because of her size. So instead of just lying down, she spoke up. She is aggressive and some may even call her heartless, but her strength forces others to find their own. She may be perpetuating sizeism through her job but she aids in women's resistance against patriarchial control over women's choice.

The Badonkadonk Defense

2010-06-11T18:01:00.001-07:00

Trace Adkins's songs are misogynistic and in some ways homophobic but entirely heterosexist. He appeared on the Celebrity Apprentice and was kissed by Piers on the cheek. His reaction is homophobic but yet still professional. The only key to what he was thinking is on body language and Trump's brief discussion with him.

Otherwise his song "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" is objectifying to women and places them as body pieces to be ogled by men. And apparently they are supposed to be enjoying it. He also has a line about "slapping your grandma" which apparently is slang for something or another. Urban Dictionary defines it as: "A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother." But still, given that I heard this song in high school, maybe even middle school and urban dictionary's main example comes from that song, it is not a far stretch for people to take it more literally. The song just pins Trace as being a pig.

Rough and Ready is a song about hegemonic masculinity and the redneck lifestyle. Trace is establishing his own sexuality and gender as a strict heterosexual masculine man. "Pretty boy" is used in the song in a similar fashion as the word "gay" or "fag."

Is Homophobia really the wrong term?

2010-05-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighty. So I spend far too much time online looking at news articles and such regarding LGBT people. I found that often(men), claim not to be homophobic because they hate gay people, they are not scared of gay people. Okay so that may be true. But why do these men hate gay people? Repressed homosexual urges? Fear of own emmasculinization? Myths about sexual assault by gay men? All these things stem from fear. Hatred often stems from fear and therefore the term homophobia is used accurately and appropriately.

Pro-Life Billboards

2010-05-13T16:10:00.000-07:00

Alright so I know I am a bitch and I am going to laugh at some of the lifers' billboards. I usually flip them off when driving but now I'm posting.

<--- Yeah sure, you could because babies have such good muscle control that they could create a smile.

Well, I'm not a Christian so why should I believe that this "baby" had a soul before it was born?

<-- Maybe its just me but, how is a "baby" that costs a lot(approx. $700 a month), going to stimulate the economy when people can barely afford to take care of themselves. But then women on welfare are stigmatized because the government is 'supporting' her and her child. You may get a tax cut because you have a kid, but its not going to be enough to stimulate anything.

But the most problematic are the ones that are not just stupid but offensive! This Georgia billboard is targeting black women, truly saying that they are immoral and killing off their own people. Black women are already often targets of racism, sexism and classism combined; they have been forcibly sterilized by the government and placed into an unescapable system of welfare. It is harder for them to find work because of race and sex, but without child care resources they are up against a losing battle. And these Lifers want them to keep having children(that they can't get daycare for), which is putting them further back.

Alright now I am going to get into the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" debate. If the woman aborts her 'baby' when she finds out it has a mental or physical disability she is a bitch and the disability activists will be all over her. But if she decides to birth it, the child's disability will be her fault.

A Bond that Will NOT Break by Distance

2010-04-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I went out to the Red Carpet with my friend Senia, who is transfering to South Dakota State University in the fall. It was her going away party and we wanted to, well, party. And we did. When we got there, there was an $8 cover. No prob. I planned for it. But the bouncer inspected Senia's id with a fine tooth comb, whereas with me he glanced at it and then stared at my boobs, which were in a strapless hot pink top, with a hole in the middle. After in, we both had a couple drinks and when Hairball(band) came on we went out on the dancefloor where we were hit on my drunken straight men. Surprisingly, me more than Senia. But this could be because she had a man-friend to dance with a little too. One guy started trying to dance on me. I move closer to Senia. He comes closer, I move closer. He continues I give him the "fuck off" look. He obviously is one of the dumbest men on the planet, so Senia plays the dutiful friend card and says that I am her girlfriend. He looks confused. She says she doesn't share. Man goes away for a while. He comes back a while later and tries again this time we have escalated to physical contact between me and him.(Senia has already pushed him). I give him the shrug and elbow him. He doesn't come back and its almost over. Two other guys try my patience in between. One tries to give me a beer. First, I don't drink beer. Second, I wasn't born yesterday, you never take a drink from a guy. Third, it was open, danger! danger! The third guy was old. Like thirties old if not more. It was dark so age perception sucks. I dont think I look old. I am 22 fucking years old, why the hell would I want a guy in his thirties or forties (besides the why would I want a guy question).
So my questions are:
Why can't I dress like a slut and not be bothered?
Why can't I dance alone or with a girlie female friend?
How come men don't get the leave me the fuck alone look?
And finally, whether it is true or not, if a woman says she's a lesbian it means she doesn't want a man, that includes you!

Sexualized Woman Walking

2010-04-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

A simple act such as walking down the street(or several miles in my case) is potentially dangerous for women. I decided since it was nice outside yesterday I would walk to school. It's quite a ways but I left at 11am and got there around 1pm. Not too bad. I decided it would be in my best interest to go up to the main business street and walk down that most of the way because it is highly populated. While I was walking on this street I was the target of car harassment, with men yelling things out their windows and a couple people honked. I had my headphones in one ear so that I couldn't hear certain things but was still aware enough to be safe. When I had to cross the major road I got very nervous because there was a man ahead of me who kept looking back and giving me a "coy" smile. He seemed like he was up to no good and I fell back so that I would not have to risk him talking to me. I also grabbed my mace from my purse and held that most of the walk. He eventually disappeared and that only served to freak me out more. I ended up stopping at Superamerica since I find that to be a safe place and got a slurpee. As I was leaving I decided to turn and go along a different street when I hear behind me a very loud whistle. I don't mind the honking but really. I am not "hot." I was wearing a tank, shorts and a bandanna; I was not very visually pleasing and being that I am obese this really baffles me. I understand the psychological oppression and men's desires to make women know they think they are a "nice piece of ass" but really these men cannot be objectifying and sexualizing a fat girl. I know a little too well how screwed up society and men are but that doesn't add up. Some may claim group mentality or men's attempt at belittling women.

Hair is a Woman's Crowning Glory

2010-04-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

Hair has been a major part of society since the beginning of time, or at least record. Egyptians would dawn elaborate wigs as a symbol of status, which is also seen later with the French nobility. Hair has always been a part of culture. It describes who you are and where you belong. This is not necessarily the case in modern America, but just sixty years ago Hitler was using hair color to eliminate groups of people in his quest for the “perfect Aryan race.” We have moved away from hair’s original value but our society still values hair, if it didn’t the three aisles in stores devoted solely to hair would not exist, balding wouldn’t be a traumatic life event, things would not be the way they are.
Hair color as it naturally is gives people an impression about your personality, temperament, and sometimes can severely affect whether someone will like you. The least common hair color is red; there is only 1-2% of the human population with red hair. They are often seen as fiery and having bad tempers as well as being oversexed. Many redheads have faced discrimination because of their hair color—this is called gingerism. This often ties into the discrimination that the Irish endured and red hair is seen as a connection to Irish heritage. Some women have dyed their hair red as a way to boost their confidence and up their sex appeal.
Brown hair is the second most common human hair color and can vary from light brown to nearly black. The term “brunette” actually means “little brown-haired girl” but is often used to describe any woman who has brown hair. Like brunettes, blondes are only women because only women are defined solely on physical characteristics. It is not usually socially acceptable to call a man a “blond” because he is seen for more than his hair. Blondes are considered to be innocent and often stereotyped as dumb and naïve. But blondes have also become major sex icons because of women such as Marilyn Monroe. Black hair is the most common hair color internationally. There are many variations of black in hair color and is most common outside of Europe, but is not normally seen in the US as a normally accepted attractive hair color.
Many women dye their hair and they do it for various reasons. Some feel that they look more attractive, whereas others may be attempting to make a point. I believed the hype as a child/teenager about blondes being prettier and having more fun, so I dyed my hair blonde and later on when I realized how bad it looked, I understood that that was a stupid mistake that I made just to get attention. I have known many women who didn’t like the stigma of blonde hair and actually dyed it darker to be taken more seriously. Black hair is often used to make a statement. The punk/emo movement glorified black hair and extremely pale skin.
Now let’s add neon or unnatural hair colors such as pink, purple, blue or green. These colors not occurring naturally in hair can be an obvious sign of disobedience or rebellion. Brightly colored hair started to appear in the mainstream in the 1980’s. Rock was big and so was hair. The Mohawk being the most recognizable style of hair deviance was often colored in a rainbow of possible shades.
Gray hair—many would say that gray is not an act of resistance. How could it be? People, women especially, do not go out searching for gray hair. In a culture that embraces youth and shuns the aging, for a woman to embrace her gray hair is a major form of social resistance. Many women, if they had never dyed their hair before, will buy their first box of hair dye upon the sight of her first gray. To not conform to the ageist ideals of the American culture is a small sometimes unnoticeable act of social resistance.
A little bit of hair history suggests that the desire for long blonde hair today is not that far from the ancients who would attempt to bleach their hair and add golden powder for luster. Long hair was a sign of femininity in European traditions. In Africa braids were often used but some cultures sported hair that came down to the waist, which is not commonly seen now (source). Dangerous chemicals have been applied to our skin and hair for centuries, lead based make-ups to powdered wigs infested with vermin of the 1800’s, now there are relaxers and hair dyes that have more warning label than actual direction as well as controversial chemicals such as parabens, which the government either doesn’t know the dangers or doesn’t care if they do. The big change from these standards came in the 1920’s when women decided to liberate themselves even more. Now you could vote, wear pants, smoke or drink in public and cut your hair. Short hairstyles have become one of the most memorable things of the decade, and a perfect mark of the young boyish flapper. After the flapper hair has been changing expectations every decade to what is the new “in.”
No one would ever assume that hair would be the new front of political movements but it is becoming that. From women’s rights to gay rights to race rights even to animal rights, hair has become political. Women can now have short hair (as long as it is feminine) and not be harassed. Lesbians and gay men are dealing with the politics of hair in the LGBT movement dealing with the issues of passing or not. Ethnic groups have been fighting for more products designed for their specific hair. There are about as many products for African American hair as there are products catered specifically to blondes. And as far as animal rights are concerned many product lines are cruelty-free and this is advertized on the product because it has become an issue that can influence whether a person buys the product or not. I have been cruelty-free for almost two years with my products and cosmetics, the only exception being certain hair dyes and that is for safety.
Dreadlocks are seen as gross, unclean, and a sign of laziness by many Americans. In actuality, dreadlocks do not happen overnight and they are not an accident. To make dreads is an intentional act and is often cultural or religious. As far as they being Rastafarian, that is true but they did not originate there. There are records of Ancient Egyptians with dreads as well as Hindus, and Africans. But commonly now it is under the Rasta influence of do nothing to one’s own body, therefore no intervention with the hair. Some African Americans may dread for a remembrance of African culture. But most importantly not everyone who dreads is part of a culture that dreadlocks are associated with. Salons have begun offering services to get dreadlocks if you have thin straight hair and need chemical assistance. Famous singer/songwriter/feminist Ani DiFranco rocked dreadlocks for a while and then a shaved head, thus proving that beauty doesn’t have to mean conventional hairstyles.
Shaving one’s head, especially for women, can be dramatic since it is not usually acceptable for a woman to not have hair. If she has a shaved head people may assume that she has cancer and lost her hair. Whereas if a man shaves his head (not balding) it is a statement of masculinity, he looks tough and for men it is a positive message. On the other hand if a man is balding, usually this can cause him to feel less masculine. In Barbara Ehrenreich's Welcome to Cancerland, she describes who when women get breast cancer they are given lots of pink items to make them still feel feminine. This could be because many have to get mastectomies but it could also have to do with the effects of chemotherapy on a woman's physical appearance. But how could crayons and a pink teddy bear make a woman feel more womanly?
For those women who may not have hair either because of illness, desire or genetic disorder can always wear wigs. Wigs are the fantastic creation designed to allow hair to be changed as easily as clothing—at least theoretically. If a woman has difficulty growing hair for a variety of reasons, wigs give her the freedom to have hair and not be judged. But wigs are not just for people who lack hair, many people like the temporariness of the wig. You can change the length, color and texture in one simple move with no more commitment than the purchase. This works well for actors/actresses and drag performers who only need the hair for a little while. These hair pieces are life changing for people, a woman can portray herself in a professional way all day at work and then at the end of the day she can have a new crazy hairstyle that she can wear out on the town, at a protest, or in her non-professional life. There is a freedom in the changeability of hair through wigs.
A popular time in feminist history was the 1960’s and 1970’s. Many of the feminists of this era were known for burning bras and not shaving their legs or underarms. The act of not shaving was an act of social resistance against conventional beauty standards in the “women can do anything men can do” era. Why should women have to shave to be “feminine” it is just hair and if women are really suppose to be hairless we should be shaving our heads and eyebrows and plucking lashes. Every last hair from our bodies should be removed. But its socially acceptable and in essence required for women to have eyebrows, lashes, and well groomed hair on their heads. Arm hair is okay as long as it isn’t too think or too dark. Though men are now beginning to be required to shave off or neatly groom facial hair, it is not at the level of unacceptability as a woman with unshaven legs going to work in a skirt.
Hair should be hair, but it’s not as if every hair on a woman’s body isn’t up for scrutiny by someone. Many women do their hair to go to the grocery store or Walmart because they know they will be treated differently if they are wearing certain clothes and dressed in certain ways. If they deter from the norms than they are thought to either be deviant or unacceptable or often both, which can be difficult for women who are trying to be socially resistant and are often taken the wrong way. A woman who shaves her head to make a point can be considered a criminal at first thought as are some people who color their hair bright colors. They are seen as social deviants not necessarily socially resistant.
There are many ways that sexuality is exhibited in appearance, hair is a major factor. The sexuality that hair exhibits is linked to reasons why Muslim women have to have their hair covered. The men in the culture are believed to not be able to control themselves and therefore it is a means of protecting a woman. Stacy in Weitz's “Women and Their Hair,” discusses how her boyfriend would make comments about how she was pretty because of her hair, so she deliberately cut it all off to make the point that she is more than just her hair(145). I think the most important thing to remember is that resistance is about intentionality and if an act is not an intentional act of resistance, it is not resistance. A person could cut and style their hair in a way that seems resistant but is in actuality a way of conforming. Weitz describes resistance as a way of rejecting subordination. That could be the cause of the act of resistance, but I think that it is too small of a definition to determine. A white male could grow long hair as a way of rejecting his masculinity and he is not combating subordination but he is using his hair as a form of social resistance. Therefore, to say that subordination is required eliminates a large group of people enacting social resistance.

Hair

2010-04-07T07:54:00.001-07:00

Alright I'm going to say it. Women have hair. And not just on our heads and in the "appropriate" places. If I was supposed to be hairless, let's see, I would have been born with the inability to grow hair. But I wasn't and most women weren't either. But have you noticed, body hair is gross, but we look down on people who are balding or do not have hair because of medical reasons.
This scandal with Mo'Nique is a definite sign of this hostile attitude to women with hair. I, myself, have experimented with hair growth as a form or social resistance but I could never come to wear tank tops or short skirts for fear of being mocked. First, as long as you cleanse, and I suggest shampoo(it's hair right?), odor doesn't permeate from beneath your arms as some may think. Deodorant is still possible and encouraged. And look at it this way, if men can get away with it why can't you or me? Plus look how far women go on their hair alone for beauty standards. We pluck, wax, shave, bleach, electrolyze, you name it women have done it to their hair. And that was just body hair. Our lovely locks are braided, colored, permed, curled, twirled, ratted, teased, dreaded, straightened, gelled, tinted, hairsprayed, whatever. We do a lot to our hair. I cannot speak for all men but most wash and go, occasionally putting in gel. Some groom longer than me, but that is rare and never talked about. Catch a man holding a styling product and many would rather have you catch them buying tampons (because at least that can be for a mom or girlfriend). Men also feel the need to defend anything feminine that they do because it is not mainstream, and frankly, many women are preventing men from making concerns for their appearance mainstream. I am not going to get into how this is homophobic because my concern is hair.
My hair has been the source of many cry sessions, death threats, and self-hatred; because as women we are often identified by our hair. As a natural brunette, I never have to worry about anyone commenting about my intelligence. No one ever says to a blond man that he is ditzy or stupid solely on the basis of his hair color. But also I have the desire to have blonde curly hair since mine is straight and brunette. This could be because I want what I do not have or it could be the deeper societal pressures for me to conform mixed with my desire to rebel. The conforming would be the blonde, since blond is deemed more attractive and innocent I would be conforming. With the curls it could be a little of both. Curls also symbolize innocence but are not seen as desirable because of their non-seriousness and difficult nature. Straight manageable blonde shiny hair is what is really desired.

Plastic Women

2010-04-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Plastic Surgery

I understand the concept, “it worked for Barbie, so it must work for me.” If you don’t know of what I speak, it’s plastic. Barbie has Ken, several very stylish cars and a dream house, as well as any career imaginable. Why wouldn’t you follow in her only high-heeled footsteps. Well now you can. You can turn yourself into a living breathing Barbie, many women already have. The breathing part will eventually be debatable since with every procedure you run the risk of never waking up. But, hey, at least you’ll be beautiful, right?

Nothing More Insecure Than Plastic Women

Once we get down to the real root of the problem--self-esteem is the really where everything is based. Women and even some men are going under the knife to deal with their insecurities. Women are more likely to get a procedure done for someone else. Whether it be because their mother is harping on them about their “funny shaped” nose, or because their boyfriend/husband wants them to have a bigger rack; its rarely because they want it or even thought about it. A stranger could comment on a body part and it will stick with you, he might even be the reason that triggers your drastic decision. I mean if one person calls you fat or ugly, no matter how many people tell you that you are pretty, beautiful [insert appropriate word here], you will never forget who called you fat or ugly. Most likely you will remember everything you were wearing, how your hair was styled, what you were doing and you will avoid some or all of that after careful dissection over why he may have said what he did.
So really women need to re-evaluate why they are allowing some doctor, who may or may not be fully qualified to perform the procedure, carve into them like the piece of meat that they are viewed as.
Things to consider before going under:
Have you thoroughly researched your impending cosmetic procedure?
Can you afford it?
What happens if something goes wrong?
What if you don’t like how you feel after?
Is it really worth it?

Seriously, Are The Big Boobs Really For YOU?

Now seriously, when does a woman want to have silicone or saline bags strapped to her chest under her real breasts? When a man tells her she does. I’m not saying that women can’t think for themselves but well many times they can’t. He’ll threaten to leave her if she doesn’t do it, he’ll constantly tell her she’s unattractive or he’ll even withhold sexual activities until she agrees. Though I wouldn’t think that would be the end of the world. For a man to withhold from a woman means that he would be willing to leave her for a bustier version that’ll worship every word he says. I will give women some credit, sometimes clothes can look better if you have more of a chest, but I have always found that it is harder to find clothes that can accommodate for a larger chest. And for vanity’s sake, if you are concerned with your clothing size you wouldn’t want to have to buy a size or two larger just so your newly implanted breasts can fit. And for the sake of swimsuits and avoiding embarrassment, many women find it hard enough to keep their suit from falling off at water parks and the beach, now imagine having to fit a size D into a string bikini and not have it fly up.
So when you start signing up for the consultation consider all the things that could happen with a bigger set of boobs.

Born Again Virgins?

There is a big following for the concept of being a born-again virgin. It’s a product of virginity pledges and guilt-laden abstinence-only education. You were never supposed to have given it away to begin with but you can swear you’ll never do it again. And with that comes expectations, the expectations that once you are married, your husband (because lesbians don’t exist) will never know that he was not your first. You will never know who his was, and with some men I would be amazed if they even know. But don’t worry there is a solution--vaginal rejuvenation.
This is a simple solution for the women who wish to regain their hymens. They can experience that painful deflowering all over again with another drunken frat boy or their husband who they will swear their life to; and then divorce five years later. I honestly don’t believe that an intelligent woman, who is not brainwashed by the her, would ever wish to relose her virginity. Plus it will never be as traumatic as the first time, since you will still have some recollection of what it was like. Therefore other than increasing your bride-price, surgically regaining your virginity is a waste.
If that wasn’t enough to put some perspective into your head than think about this:
In America, this procedure is completely voluntary and you pay someone to perform it.
In Africa, similar procedures are done, such as cutting the inner labia or clitoris and we define that as genital mutilation.
So therefore, you are paying a doctor to perform an elective genital mutilation upon you for the purpose of appearing more sexually appealing to a man or to become more “innocent.” This alone indicates a corrupt society that believes that purity can be linked to a strange, usually male, doctor feeling you up while you’re knocked out and then slicing and dicing at your sacred-God-given-dirty-woman-parts. And this is acceptable in the Christian faith? Wait it’s not even just acceptable its encouraged!
Then not only are you supposed to be reshaped but that hair needs to be gone. I don’t care if you shave, wax, pluck, trim, go au natural; but if you choose to take it off, don’t do it to look more youthful. Any man that tells you it’s sexy to be completely bare and “youthful” is on the fast track to pedophilia and child molestation. Run now before it’s too late. But if you just prefer the feel or the ease of going bare do it for those reasons, not because some man says it turns him on. And in that case if you don’t care about the hair down there, tell him if he requires you to remove it, you require him to do the same and the same way at that. (just don’t tell him about taking the NSAIDS before the Brazilian wax)
Just remember it’s YOUR body so don’t listen to anyone about what you do with it, unless there is a danger and it’s your doctor.

My Webpage

2010-03-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Check it out: feminist-love.wikispaces.com

Passion for Fashion

2010-03-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Further Education

Currently I am considering two options for my nearing future: graduate school or cosmetology school. If I get a free ride to grad school then I would be stupid to give it up but I do love doing hair. I do not feel that by doing this I am falling prey to societal influences because I have been actively trying to pursue other career options only to come back to the thought that I love hair, makeup, glitter and fashion.

The cosmetology database I found can give me schools in several states so when I move I have options. I want to be able to do what I love for a career and I would love to one day own my own feminist salon. There are a couple of programs that actually teach you how to own a salon. I would want it to be called “the F-Word Salon and Spa” and have a daycare provided so that women can come in and get the services without having to worry about their children and the child area would be pro-woman, feminist friendly. The toys would be gender neutral and the movies would have strong female themes. I would also like to hold workshops through the salon on positive body image for women and teens to help foster a better relationship with the self.

If I do go to grad school, I am looking at Minnesota State University, Mankato because it has a program that is more tailored to individual’s own feminist theories. I would like to be able to do both grad school and beauty school but I don’t think it would be practical to do at once so the decision is up in the air. I only really need grad school if I want to teach, which I do, and then I would have to go on to get my PhD. I have talked with Maria Bevacqua, Gender and Women’s Studies Director at MSU Mankato, and I feel that it might be a good fit since the program has more on queer studies and I could cater it to my interests. She often brings her class up to Minneapolis, MN to visit the Smitten Kitten, a feminist sex toy store. She would be on the more radical side of feminism and I think that that would be a good fit. The program also offers a Graduate Assistantship that could include a stipend and tuition waver.

Family

I do not believe in having children or really a “family.” I never plan on having children because of my personal adversity to men, doctors and any human under the age of 10; but my maternal instincts have manifested in the desire to have a puppy. I will have a puppy, which is similar to a child but without the force on society to gender it appropriately. I am not sure on whether it will be male or female but either way it will be fixed and I am looking at a Pomeranian or Chihuahua. It will be gendered with a feminist/feminine name of “Miss Suzie Bee Stanton” and will be my constant companion.

Career(s)

If I go the route of beauty school, I will need to get a licensure in cosmetology which varies from state to state and you have to have that state’s license to practice. The reciprocity in some states is very good if you got trained in a state with rather high standards. Also a little food for thought, the more conservative states have higher requirements, whereas the liberal states are rather lenient. So that throws out the option of going to a more liberal state and not having as much reciprocity or going to a conservative state and maybe not being able to be as creative due to their “standards.” I am also looking into the idea of national licensure but I have not gotten enough information yet to delve into that.

Along with the beauty school route, I am also an animal rights activist. I was a vegetarian and a member of PeTA for a while but once I could no longer have soy, vegetarianism was out and PeTA's objectification of women and spoof on the transgender population angered me into discontinuing my membership. I strongly believe that it is morally wrong to test on animals (I would prefer to test on prisoners, after all they are still biologically human) and though I do not agree with, I cannot knowingly use products that harmed animals unless there is no other option. Therefore if I work in a salon the salon would have to have a cruelty-free product option.

Hobbies/Activism

Animal rights and feminism go hand in hand since both parties are discriminated against and are often kept pregnant to serve men’s desires. Therefore I joined a group on facebook and replied to a discussion post. I don’t know what will come from it but it should be interesting. There is the comment that Ben & Jerry’s should use human breast milk instead of cow’s milk. Where I get the point of it feminism is my main concern and I feel that would just be another way to keep women down is to make them give birth and lactate for the purpose of human consumption. I will sacrifice my ice cream to not have to birth. It is just throwing women under the same bus we are throwing cows.

Another hobby I have involves the beauty and fashion industries. I think that the narrow ideals of beauty have permeated society to the point of disillusionment to the actual concept of beauty and what it means to be beautiful. Women have not always had to be white, thin, blonde and tall to be beautiful. In different cultures beauty is defined differently. “Pretty” women have more privilege than “not typically defined as pretty” women and are more likely to be hired on to do jobs that don’t even require beauty. But our culture finds the need to sex up little girls and even adult women to the point of ridiculousness just because the male ideal of beauty just so happens to coincide with their sexual arousal.

Critique of Brad Paisley's "I'm Still A Guy"

2010-03-03T21:11:00.000-08:00

"I'm Still A Guy"

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl (1)
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog (2), hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by (3)

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try (4)
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair (5)
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy

(1) On the most basic level, this shows an over-sexualization of every aspect of American men's lives. It is a sad day when a man cannot look at art without objectifying women. On a deeper note, many men see drunk naked women as an opportunity for a sexual conquest.
(2) The term "sissy" is often used as a derogatory word towards homosexual men. This is therefore demonstrating the homophobia in American male culture.
(3) This is an example of how men often feel that women are their property. He is not intending to harm the other man to protect her honor, but to show his ownership. It is a sense of territory. This also assumes that a woman cannot take care of herself.
(4) Sexual Assault Warning! She proclaimed that it was just a backrub and nothing more, but he felt that he was entitled to more than just a backrub. Her swatting his hand is not the first "no" but the second. That qualifies his action as a form of sexual assault. But he justifies this as being something that guys just do. It is just a small step away from rape, which is often justified by the idea that "boys will be boys."
(5) There is nothing more homophobic imaginable. Yes, the beauty industry is flawed and not ideal for anyone: man, woman, trans or queer. But to say that someone who is biologically male is wrong to exhibit any traits deemed feminine by American culture, is homophobic and sexist. Because really, if it is so wrong for a man to do something, how could it be right for a woman to do the same thing? He states that by exhibiting feminine qualities men are being neutered by these activities and that male genitalia does not exist in feminine men or not masculine men.